Lydia's Space

why don't you understand?

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 02:19:27 GMT

love shouldn't make your heart hurt like this.

stop

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 01:02:24 GMT

stop being such a fucking d-bag and act like a friend once in a while. you treat me like fucking shit and i got tired of it tonight. you're not used to me standing up for myself- that's why we quit being friends the first time.

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 20:06:42 GMT

I'm afraid of my flight being cancelled.
rawr.
my flight will be on time.
my flight will be on time.
my flight will be on time.
sigh; yep.

sexy time.

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 20:34:38 GMT

i leave friday to spend a week with my gorgeous girlfriend in Houston.
i am, needless to say, very very excited.
sexytime, yes.

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 04:08:01 GMT

fuck i'm a bitch sometimes.

Sun, 13 May 2007 23:28:31 GMT

some days.
i just shouldn't wake up.

Fri, 11 May 2007 01:47:31 GMT

I'd do anything to fall asleep with you again. Too. :)

Day 3, 4

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:13:01 GMT

Day 2

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 12:44:07 GMT

1.4

Day 1

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 03:57:21 GMT

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 00:00:07 GMT

i'm so in love with her.

It's been forever

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 13:36:12 GMT

So I might as well update. Thought I doubt anyone really looks at this thing.

I basically suck these past few months. School sucked, love sucked, family sucked, blahblahblah.
It's a huge suckfest.

I want someone here who I can see, touch, hear, feel, smell [yes, smell... that's a pleasnt thing, too]. Blah. I wish things would work out.

That's all.
I suck.

The One

Wed, 05 Jul 2006 01:54:31 GMT

Am I really just a day dream?
Drifting from your mind
Just another plaything
You took from the shelf for some time.
Cause you meant so much more to me
Than an experience or experiment
You opened up my eyes to see
And I made good of our time spent.
Now you say were done
And that you feel no love.
Well I still think youre the one
Someone I dont want to be free of.
So am I really just a day dream?
Drifting from your mind
Was I only ever a plaything?
You took from the shelf for some time.
Well put me back and think about
Everything we've done.
I guess keep me there until youre ready
Though Ive been ready since we begun.

TAKE NOTES! urg.

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 05:05:41 GMT

Superman Returns = Amazing =)

Girl facts:

When a girl says she likes you,
she wants you to ask her out.

When a girl misses u, she's afraid to see
how your
new girl looks, she's dreading the fact that
ur not
hers any more

When u break a girls heart, she still feels
it when
bumping heads 3 years later

When a girl just stares deep into your
eyes, she's
HOPING that your staring just as deeply into her's
it shows how much she cares.

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her
mind.

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of
questions,
she is wondering how long you will be
around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a
few
seconds,
*****she is not at all fine.******

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are so
wonderful.

When a girl lays her head on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl is lying in your arms,
she is hoping to fall asleep so she can
feel you protecting and caring for her

When a girl calls you everyday,
she is seeking for your attention.

When a girl wants to see you everyday,
she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says, "I'll love you forever, "
she means it.

When a girl says that she can't live
without you,
she has made up her mind that you are
her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you, "
no one in this world can miss you more
than that

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 04:12:09 GMT

"What do you feel when you kiss me?"
"A lot."
"Do you feel what I feel when I kiss you?"
*nods*
"Then why is everything so difficult?"
"I don't know."

shootmefuckingnow

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 12:19:43 GMT

please, i'm on my knees. i haven't stopped crying. i cried myself to sleep. i cried when i woke up. i am in love with you. why doesn't that matter?

please please please!?

Mon, 26 Jun 2006 20:13:08 GMT

so who wants to buy me a pair of these beads or at least chip in for me to be able to buy a pair of these beads:

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j24/evolutionseeker/katandanju.jpg

they cost about $150-$200 and i want them soooo bad. there's only gonna be 10 made and they're buddhist prayer beads.

no i'm not buddhist but they're beautiful and meaningful to me.

please, please donate something to me so i can actually do this? it would be HUGE!

i'd love you forever and ever.

*pouty face.. i never ask for anything!*

Mon, 26 Jun 2006 17:06:52 GMT

they're kinda fuzzy, but that's ok...

one dog. one girl. 12 years of companionship

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 19:40:46 GMT

Rest In Peace, Chuckie Boy
You'll forever be missed. <3 05.20.06

Sun, 18 Jun 2006 18:34:28 GMT

Ever hear those warnings before you get on an amusement theme ride or one of those virtual movie theaters? There should be one that goes like this:

Welcome. You are about to embark on a thing called love. It is not recommended that you take step on this journey if you are a person weak at heart or stomach and unaccustomed to being constantly confused or upset. This, we would like to inform you, has the potential to be a very wonderful thing, however sometimes the jealousy and confusion can take the best of us. Please remain seated with your seat belt firmly locked and please: enjoy the ride.

<3

Anesthetic never set in and I'm wondering where the apathy and urgency is that I thought I phoned in

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 17:04:54 GMT

i'm wearing my cap from last night.
*unrelated* my heart is racing worse than it has in a while. i don't feel well at all. i think i should go see a fucking shrink cause what i do to myself can't be emotionally healthy. sometimes you just need someone to talk to who won't judge you, but instead offer an outsider's point of view: totally unattached. i did so many things i've never done before in this past week; romantically, emotionally, physically, etc. stuff in school, stuff at home, stuff at the carnival. i don't know if i like where my life is going. i don't know if i even agree with the decisions i've made. i feel like for some reason i'm wrong or something. last night was amazingly perfect and fun and down right awesome. i had my family and my 2 best friends cheering me on at graduation. i met and spoke to people i never thought i'd speak to, never thought i was good enough to speak to. i just realized that i'm never going to see a lot of people from last night again. then we went out to dinner, me, my mom, my dad, thea, stacey, and bethany. it was awesome. we went to the pub, made fun of eachother (bethany came so much out of her shell with my family, she's always been so timid). it was truly one of the best gifts she could have given me. thea gave me a huge beautiful boquet of flowers at the ceremony, my parents wrote all over our car and put black and red crepe paper streamers everywhere. at dinner my parents gave me my graduation present (which i didn't even think of getting a present from anyone). this. "oh, the pictures we could take with that". this morning i woke up and gave my dog, chuckie his pills for his heart like i'm supposed to. my mom didn't realize i had already done it and 10 minutes later gave them to him again. the double dose of meds warranted a $55 poison control call and a $150 trip to the vet. they wanted to keep him all day for $350, but my mom said no because his heart can't handle that. that ruined my chances to hang out with anyone today. that and the fact that i'm a bitch and treated my best friend like shit this morning. that rolled over, then i baisically helped the person i love do something for the person they love (not me, duh). then i went downstairs to get my new camera and something happened. i can't say what, but it happened. something that hasn't happened/bothered me for a while. i can't handle this anymore. i can't handle my life anymore. i just really need to get out of here, out of my head, out of my body, really. i just need an escape. i just need love that's unconditional. i need for the people in my life to be steadfast and not go around behind my back, thinking i don't know what the fuck's up. i need to not be the only one who knows this secret.

my response to a gay marraige myspace bulletin

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 20:58:28 GMT

"Lydia - I. Am. For it! I am a Christian girl, but if I fall in love with another girl I will NOT fight it. You can't help who you fall in love with, talk about going against your nature! And to all of you Bible thumping, scripture quoting jackasses, i have some scripture of my own. Many of you have said "Fuck no, that's nasty and against God!" Tell me, does it not say in the Bible that swearing is against God's will (Matthew 5:34)? OR! Do you like shrimp? musscles? clams? lobster? crab? OOPS! you're not allowed to eat that because eating shellfish is an abomination unto the Lord (leviticus 11:10). Or how about that shirt you're wearing? Make sure that that's 100% cotton because according to the Bible, wearing robes of mixed threads (cotton blend, polyester, lycra, etc.) THAT, my dears, is an abomination unto the lord (leviticus 19:19)! Oh, and you might want to throw away your Schick razor blades because SHAVING is an abomination unto the lord, too (leviticus 19:27)! And don't even THINK about getting a tattoo because THAT'S an abomination, too (leviticus 19:28). You're going to have to call out of work on Saturday because working on the Sabbath is against God and the Bible (leviticus 19:30). Don't eat that hamburger, because that's against God, too (leviticus 17:10). And tell your mom to take the tomatoes out of the garden that has the basil in it, for it is against God to have a garden with mixed seeds (leviticus 19:19). So basically what I'm saying is this: don't you DARE tell me that my sleeping with a girl or his sleeping with a guy and wanting to marry said person is an abomination unto the Lord! If you're going to smite me with one verse, you better read up a little more and smite every person you pass on the streets! See? I can be a Christian AND be okay with gayness/be gay. Thanks! <333 (ps. who has the longest entry so far? yep. that'd be me! i'm so cool!)"

Sat, 03 Jun 2006 00:25:05 GMT

"Dance Dance!" said Francine while Waiting For The Bus to get some Tush. Somebody Told Me, Take It Or Leave It, that War is Science. This War is Dangerous To Know. Don't Tell Me that I Deserve It, i'm not a Foxhole J.C. i'm Gone.

Warning: The above is the result of intense boredom and a music list. Thank you for your patience in this brief inconvenience.

<3.

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 18:57:11 GMT

seriously, this is where the whole
you saying things out of
spite for me comes in.
i thought things were good.
we started the day off well.
now, i'm just downright pissed.
and the best part is,
you did it on purpose.
thanks.
love you too.

"do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?" "I do"

Tue, 30 May 2006 22:39:36 GMT

DON'T TAKE IT IF YOU'RE GOING TO LIE!

1. WOULD YOU GET BACK WITH YOUR LAST EX IF YOU COULD?
nah.

2. WHAT KIND OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
tyedye.

3. HAVE YOU KISSED ANYONE ON YOUR FRIEND'S LIST?
not full on kiss, cheek maybe.

4. DO YOU HAVE "A THING" FOR ANYONE ON YOUR TOP 8?
no.

5. HOW MANY PEOPLE ON YOUR LIST DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE
all but 3.

6. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT TO HAVE?
2 of my own, adopt however many i can.

7. DO YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH BOTH YOUR PARENTS?
yess'm!

8. DO YOU MAKE OVER 40K A YEAR?
ha, no.

9. WHAT NAME WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE BESIDES THE ONE
YOU HAVE?
i love my name.

10. WOULD YOU EVER MAKE OUT WITH SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX?
.

12. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BDAY?
went out to dinner. i'm having a party at the end of june.

13. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN RINGTONE ON YOUR PHONE?
drum beats.

14. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY?
6:55.

15. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT TWO NIGHTS AGO?
waiting for stacey to come over.

16. HOW MANY OF YOUR EX'S ARE ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST?
1.

17. DO YOU LIKE HAVING YOUR HAIR PULLED?
no.

19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM
couplea minutes ago.

20. DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR SIBLING(S)?
yes, my sister's one of my best friends and my best friends are like sisters..

21. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF?
my body.

22. IF YOU HAD $250,000...HOW WOULD YOU SPEND IT?
college, car.

23. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AT YOUR CURRENT JOB?
11 years (student).

24. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO TOM
no, lol.

26. LAST THING YOU ATE?
frosted flakes, mmm.

27. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE MONTH?
october.

28. YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MONTH?
july, heat.

29. WHAT'S THE LAST PIECE OF CLOTHING YOU BORROWED FROM ANYONE?
shoes from stacey.

30. WHO IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES RIGHT NOW?
no one, really.

31. MOST VISITED WEBPAGE?
myspace.

32. LAST PERSON YOU TEXT MESSAGED?
stacey.

33. LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU SAD?
stacey.

34. WOULD YOU TAKE A BULLET FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND?
i may not take it, but i'd try and help as best i could.

35. FAVORITE KIND OF DRINK?
water.

36. FAVORITE FOOD?
chicken.

37. FAVORITE DESSERT?
chocolate icing. ha.

38. HAVE YOU BEEN TO EUROPE?
no, ma'am.

39. IF SOMEONE YOU HATED DIED, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
i'd probably cry, to never be able to be nice to someone and have them die thinking you hate them, that's terrible.